Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis star in 'Jupiter Ascending'

In Theatres: Jupiter Ascending; Seventh Son; SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis star in Warner Bros' blockbuster-expensive, critically-panned 2015 fantasy film.



Jupiter Ascending

Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis star in the so-far critically panned, but very expensive, fantasy epic ‘Jupiter Ascending’, a hopeful blockbuster from Warner Brothers that doesn’t look like it deserves the marketing campaign.

Here’s a skewering from The Verge and Bryan Bishop:

“Every now and then a movie can make you break inside, your capacity for rational thought collapsing beneath the weight of the inane, the confusing, the spectacularly boring. These are the moments that lead sensible people to just say fuck it, pick up their Red Vines and soda, and head for the nearest exit. Life’s too short, they say. If I really want to finish this, it’ll be on Netflix, they say. I didn’t spend $20 and drive here to make my life demonstrably worse, they say.

“If only I could have done that same thing during Jupiter Ascending.”

Seventh Son

Jeff Bridges and Julianne Moore star in this fantasy film, which is apparently a completely different fantasy film than Jupiter Ascending.

Here’s Vulture‘s Bilge Ebiri on the 2010 Best Actor Oscar winner’s newest performance:

“A strange movie that manages to be both ridiculous and bland, its chief point of interest is the spectacle of a great actor caught in career decline. As Gregory, a former knight and witch-hunter who wanders the countryside fighting and exorcising demons of all stripes, Jeff Bridges is pure growly silliness, giving a performance that is somehow both debased and yet above it all.”

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

Everyone’s favourite kitchen utensil living who lives underwater hits the big screen on Friday, a sequel coming nine years after the original SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004).

“I can try and shuck off my fandom by saying that it’s directly due to my kids, but admittedly SpongeBob is a show that’s proven to be entertaining for all ages and actually contains very clever elements to it,” writes IGN‘s Matt Fowler. “Aside from the fact that, when you boil it down, it follows the time-honored cartoon tradition of ‘one character annoys the holy hell out of another character.’

“Having written all that, I’m giving Sponge Out of Water a moderate recommendation. It’s got some golden moments of weird, surreal glee, but there are also parts that are a huge mess. I know, it’s weird to criticize something like SpongeBob for being too untethered, but when it prevents the story from gelling the way it should you wind up with a movie that sort of feels like a bunch of separate SpongeBob episodes all tacked together in a row.”

Just Posted

Man cycles across B.C. Interior for sobriety

Vancouver Island Resident Matt Fee is approaching the final phase of his cross-Canada bike journey to raise awareness about addiction recovery.

Popular Bird Migration Day open house happening this weekend

Event focuses on bird adaptation to migration, bird conservation issues and threats and bird banding

Okanagan inmate who allegedly assaulted prisoners and officer gets trial extension

Afshin Maleki Ighani appeared in Penticton Supreme Court on Monday

Penticton gas prices among the lowest at B.C. pumps

Nine of the 10 lowest-priced gas locations are in Penticton

FortisBC to offer free energy efficiency assessments for small businesses

Fortis BC wants to helo 900 storefronts in Kelowna, Penticton and Rossland

VIDEO: Liberals make child care pledge, Greens unveil platform on Day 6 of campaign

Green party leader Elizabeth May unveils her party’s platform in Toronto

Canucks sign Brock Boeser to three-year, US$17.6-million deal

Young sniper will be in Vancouver Tuesday

B.C. forest industry looks to a high-technology future

Restructuring similar to Europe 15 years ago, executive says

RCMP conclude investigation into 2017 Elephant Hill wildfire

Files have been turned over to BC Prosecution Service

B.C. wants to be part of global resolution in opioid company bankruptcy claim

Government says settlement must include Canadian claims for devastation created by overdose crisis

B.C. ends ‘birth alerts’ in child welfare cases

‘Social service workers will no longer share information about expectant parents without consent’

U.S. student, killed in Bamfield bus crash, remembered as ‘kind, intelligent, talented’

John Geerdes, 18, was one of two UVic students killed in the crash on Friday night

Facebook group forms committee against Thompson Nicola R.V. crackdown

Group discusses issues with regional R.V. bylaw at recent meeting

Free Tesla 3 offered with purchase of Surrey townhome

Century Group’s offer for Viridian development runs through Oct. 31

Most Read