Until he found the lifeless body of his son on the bedroom floor Friday morning, Joe Frocklage had no room in his heart for hate.
At just 46 years old, Joseph Edwin Audie Foy, best know to friends and family as āBear,ā died from what is believed to be a heroin/fentanyl overdose, a drug heās thought to have used a short time earlier.
āWhen we were growing up my parents never raised us to hate and I could never say that I hated any person, no one, but thatās all changed,ā said Frocklage, as he looked down at the spilled container of marijuana believed to be laced with the opiate that was found in Bearās jacket pocket that day. āTheyāre murdering our kids with this shit. Itās got to stop. I mean how many people are sitting there just like us and their kids are dying over this shit, I canāt believe it.
āHow many mothers are crying like my wife and saying āI canāt believe this,ā how many fathers are doing the same thing and brothers and sisters, but I want to take all my hurt all my anger, everything and put it into some good.ā
Read more: Fentanyl crisis in Penticton as overdose numbers spike
Bear, who got the nickname from the cereal he loved as a child, was living at his parentās Winnipeg Street apartment until he could get a place of his own after Christmas.
According to Frocklage his son came home about 1:30 a.m. with a āstreetā woman and it was about four hours later when his mother Carolyne went to the room to check on him that she became concerned.
āFor some reason she had that gut feeling that something was wrong and then she came to me and there was fear in her face and she said: āI canāt wake him up.ā
āI went in and right away it dawned on me this is not right. I shook him once, nothing, twice nothing and the third time I really shook him and tried to feel him breathing, but nothing.ā
At that point Frocklage knew he couldnāt do anything more.
āI touched his skin, he was cold, so, so cold. I never want to see that again.ā
He called 911 and went to a neighbour for help and they both tried CPR until the ambulance arrived moments later.
āThe ambulance driver came out of the room and he looked at both of us (he and Carolyne) and said; āheās dead, heās passed away,āā recalled Frocklage.
If the death was a result of fentanyl, it is the second in about three weeks in what is turning out to be a near-epidemic spike in opiate overdoses in Penticton.
āI still lie on the bed and turn around and look down the hall, the bathroom lightās on and wait for Bear to come out the door but he doesnāt and then I just start to cry,ā said Frocklage. āMy nephew died two months ago today, he overdosed in Kelowna, we tried oh so much to help and now our son ⦠our kids are being wiped out, thatās just not right.
āI yell and scream and when I feel like I have no more tears butĀ they just come in buckets. My boy was a good boy, he had a great heart, he had a problem, it was a bad problem but he didnāt mean to do it.ā
As a way to funnel the negative energy back into something positive Frocklage has set up a Gofundme page (www.gofundme.com/families-against-drugs-alcohol).
āI want this money to go and help people like us, people who have no money, on a small pension and canāt hardly even afford to bury their loved one,ā he said. āWeāve got to conquer this thing, all of us parents and police and conquer this thing.
āWe need to keep our heads up and we pray, āGod you did this for a reason we donāt know now why and I know weāll never find out while weāre alive,ā but weāve got to keep up our faith.ā
Chris Elliott knew Bear well and was still mourning the loss of another close and longtime friend and mother Melissa, who was the other recent overdose fatality.
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Read more: More overdoses as fentanyl epidemic grows
āYouāre just trying to grieve for one and another one dies,ā said Elliott Tuesday morning while walking to Grace Church for a community breakfast. āItās pretty tense out there right now. It is very sad, that was the feeling I had when I was walking in the back allies last night near Cheers the Church and you think about the people who are staying there and if that place wasnāt open they might go and get a hit and that could be their last. Itās like Russian roulette with a syringe, itās suicide.
āItās been a bad year and weāve lost a lot of friends and we should learn from that.ā
Elliott uses his own home to help others in need on their journey.
āBear was a caring person and heāll be missed,ā he said. āI donāt want people who are using (at his home), but I do worry about them I also worry because it could be kids going to high school.ā
Elliott regularly does walk arounds in the downtown to let people know about shelters and where to get help.
āThere are just more and more homeless and itās really frustrating that there are not enough places to house them.ā