Faye Arcand is a freelance writer living in the South Okanagan.

Faye Arcand is a freelance writer living in the South Okanagan.

Auntie Says: There is so many things to talk about

Faye Arcand is a freelance writer living in the South Okanagan

I’m feeling rather disjointed this week. So many thoughts have my brain racing in a million different directions.

First off, let me tell you that I’m not a big fan of politics, it’s too divisive. I prefer to see people as individuals with different ideas and values, some I agree with and others I don’t. Politics, both here and in the U.S., have been front and centre like never before. Many issues have been polarizing while at the same time generating great discussions and debates.

Related: Auntie Says – A little respect please

This last year has seen such a huge swing in social consciousness with things like the #MeToo and Time’s Up movements but one thing I think we can all agree on (or I hope we can), is the need for mutual respect of our fellow human beings — regardless of political, religious or social standing.

Respect means having regard for the other person’s right to be who they are and believe what they want to believe. Recently it seems like respect has been lost in the mainstream and needs to be brought back to the forefront. There’s confusion over the idea of judgement passed simply because of political or social ideologies. To me it’s ludicrous, to assume a whole group is evil or wrong because they’re called conservatives or liberals — or whatever. It makes me shake my head in wonder.

Related: Auntie Says: Mind your own business

Another thing, I keep hearing is that men are now afraid of complimenting a woman for fear of being accused of sexism or they’re anxious that a kiss they gave a girlfriend 20 years ago could now be misconstrued as assault. Look up the definition of assault to see if your behaviour applies. The thing is that if you actually have questions then you may already have your answer. Ask yourself: if that same behaviour was perpetrated on your sister, mother, auntie, granny, wife or girlfriend, what would you think? To me that’s always a good measure and yes we’re all responsible for our actions — past and present.

And let’s consider the old ‘boys will be boys’ attitude. The shift in voice and power will become more equal over time and this is a good thing. In my opinion, its long overdue. Change will be met with resistance and obstacles, but it will happen. It’s started already.

Related: Auntie Says: The tradition of the sunset party continues

The idea of boys will be boys perpetuates the notion that males will, and do, engage in risky and sometimes hateful behaviour because it’s natural and instinctive to their gender and therefore they don’t need to be responsible. What a load of crap and in my opinion it really doesn’t give boys much credit for being able to use their brain or recognize that they do know how to make good decisions.

Related: Auntie Says: The tradition of the sunset party continues

Boys and men are not the enemy and they’re not stupid or so impulsive that they can’t control themselves. We all have choice and the ‘boys will be boys’ mentality really is an insult to them. More respect needs to be demanded by boys because they’re being pigeonholed as impulsive brutes.

Then there’s the whole thing about sexual misconduct at parties, work, or just life in general. Remember, no means no. Consent is required. Whether male or female. Whether 15 or 50.

Phew. So much to think about and consider. So many discussion to have. We live in exciting times.

Faye Arcand is a freelance writer who lives in the South Okanagan. Reach her at faye.arcand@icloud.com or www.fayeearcand.com.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

The proposed Skaha Lake Road housing project will be modelled after the Burdock House on Winnipeg St., said BC Housing.
BC Housing panel peppered with questions about Skaha housing project

Virtual meeting involved questions about crime, level of supports, timelines

(Stock photo)
EDITORIAL: COVID-19 restrictions continue to affect us all

Canada has recorded more than 700,000 confirmed cases of pandemic

Landmark Cinemas Penticton was forced to close down when the provincial government ordered all theatres to close when new COVID-19 restrictions were brought in Nov. 19, 2020. (Monique Tamminga Western News)
Despite ‘devastating’ losses the show will eventually go on at Penticton theatre

Landmark Cinemas has been offering movie popcorn since having to close in November

Amanda Parsons, a registered nurse on staff at the Northwood Care facility, administers a dose of the Moderna vaccine to Ann Hicks, 77, in Halifax on Monday, Jan. 11, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Andrew Vaughan-Pool
61 new COVID-19 cases, two more deaths in Interior Health

Twenty-nine people are in hospital, seven of whom are in intensive care

This is rendering of what the playground of the new provincially funded child care centre could look like on Edmonton Ave.
Public hearing for childcare centre rezoning Feb. 1

The Edmonton Ave. facility would add 116 more childcare spots

Charlotte is one of the resident pigs at Star's Piggly Wiggly's Sanctuary near Kelowna. (Twila Amato - Black Press Media)
Kelowna-area pig sanctuary needs a new home

Star’s Piggly Wiggly’s Sanctuary is looking for properties in Vernon, Coldstream, and Enderby

A couple living at the Summerland Waterfront Resort is trying to sell their unit because of strata changes which will require them to pay significantly higher strata fees or have their unit included in the resort’s rental pool (John Arendt - Summerland Review)
Couple living at Summerland resort facing increases

Permanent residents of Summerland Waterfront Resort told fees will more than double

Cumberland photographer Sara Kemper recently took the top spot in a Canadian Geographic photography contest. Photo by Sara Kemper
B.C. photographer takes top Canadian Geographic photo prize

Sara Kemper shows what home means to her in Comox Valley photo

(Big White Ski Resort)
28 more cases of COVID-19 linked to Big White cluster

More than 200 cases have been identified since the cluster was announced

Police are seeking further witnesses after an elderly woman who was struck by a vehicle in Salmon Arm succumbed to her injuries. (File Photo)
Salmon Arm pedestrian dies after being hit by truck along Highway 1

Collision took place on Jan. 15 in downtown Salmon Arm, police looking for witnesses

A cow moose wanders around the Silver Star Elementary School neighbourhood Tuesday, Jan. 19. (Contributed)
Moose chases two people near North Okanagan school

Conservation and dog control attending to the situation

The sale of the Kirschner Mountain Development for $22M marks the largest in Realtor history, in the Okanagan. (Contributed)
Kelowna mountain development sold for $22M

The sale of the 640-acre Kirschner Mountain development has made the history books

New Westminster TV production designer, Rick Whitfield, has designed an office in a box for British Columbians in need of a private workspace. (BC Box Office photo)
PHOTOS: B.C. man designs ‘box office’ solution for those working from home

‘A professionally designed workspace on your property, away from the distractions of home’

Chilliwack ER doctor Marc Greidanus is featured in a video, published Jan. 18, 2021, where he demonstrates and describes effectiveness of various styles of masks. (Youtube)
VIDEO: Emergency room doctor runs through pros and cons of various masks

‘We’ve been asked to wear a mask and it’s not that hard,’ Greidanus says.

Most Read