Something interesting started a couple of months ago when my wife and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary.
We had upgraded from a 1,000 square-foot condo to a three-bedroom home and it seemed almost overnight everyone was interested in one thing: when are we having kids?
When did it become OK for people to ask about your sex life? Seems like that would have been the perfect topic for a Seinfeld episode, or something he would have a great time making cracks about on stage during a comedy routine.
My friend’s wife asked me if we are going to start filling our new house with babies.
“Not at the moment,” I said. Besides, my mind has been on how I’m going to design a great man cave, one of the selling points of our new home.
The question is directed my way every once in a while whenever I run into a work contact.
“Are you going to have a kid soon?”
“Not at the moment,” I respond.
For the record, the question had also been thrown my way well prior to the house switch. I told another person it would happen when we could afford one. I was mostly joking.
“You can never afford kids,” he said, adding that you just have them.
My wife gets the question more than I do. She avoids that topic by enjoying a glass of red wine when we’re out with friends.
Can you guess who doesn’t ask that question?
Ironically, our mothers. I’m not sure if I should be surprised about this or not. My mother doesn’t bring it up as I guess she doesn’t want to pressure us about that. We did have a brief discussion about it a year or two ago, but I’m sure I brought it up and it was just a casual conversation about this exact topic. Even now her phone calls don’t start with, “So am I going to be a grandma soon?”
She does ask what’s new whenever we speak on the phone, but I think she’s primarily curious about what we are up to. My mom doesn’t really talk about things in a subtle way. She also doesn’t hassle me about having a baby.
Before getting married to my lovely wife, every phone call with her mom always involved asking when we were going to get married. My wife says there will come a time when my mother-in-law expects us to make her a grandmother again. However, my sister-in-law bought us time when she gave birth to an adorable baby boy named Devan on Dec. 11. We get to meet him next week.
Don’t get me wrong, it never bothers me when the question is lobbed my way. I just chuckle.
Our friend’s teenage daughter once suggested we should have a baby soon so that she could babysit. That would be great to have a sitter lined up already. Just one problem: she doesn’t live in the same city.
How many of you have had a friend ask when you were having your first child? How did you respond?
Here’s what I wonder: How does that conversation even get rolling?
From a guy’s point of view, it’s not really talked about.
I can see it now, a group of guys are hanging out watching a game, enjoying a few beers in the man cave when out of nowhere one of the guys asks, “So when are you going to start a family?”
One of them excuses himself, grabs the remote and hits pause on the live recording to let the discussion begin. Yeah, right.
With so few surprises, finding out when friends are having kids is something to look forward to.
But please stop asking my wife, I can’t afford her wine bill.
Emanuel Sequeira is the sports editor for the Penticton Western News