ZYTARUK: What to do this summer? Maybe jump into Tomslake…

Do the folks in Katz get along with the folks in Dog Creek?

Do the folks in Katz get along with the folks in Dog Creek?

 

 

So let it be written…

 

 

Life has cycles. Most things do — even the word lifecycle.

The value of our loonie is, of course, subject to cycles.

Up, down…mostly down.

Summer’s here, and the Canadian dollar is once again a rickety nephew to Uncle Sam’s sturdy greenback.

We’ve been here before. The situation lends itself to vacationing in B.C. rather than crossing the line. I wrote a column about it, 14 years ago.

So I’ve dug deep into my tickle trunk and pulled out some vintage musings on the topic, for your consideration. No names have been changed to protect the innocent…

Our tiny Canadian dollar has me thinking that we’ll stay up here in B.C. and do some homegrown exploring this time out.

But there’s so much to see and do in this province, I’m having a hard time deciding where to go.

For instance, I’ve never been to Zoht, Tork, or Dot, all fine places I’m sure.

Nothing beats a good road trip, so I’ve been checking out a list of places to visit in B.C. and I must admit that I’m intrigued by the names I’ve encountered.

I see there’s a place called Ceepeecee.

We might visit Puckatholetchin, but not Likely.

So many unanswered questions…

I wonder, are they selfish in Old Hogem?

Do you know if there’s a train station in Chu Chua? And if it’s closed, do they call the people in Openit for help?

Is it stinky in Blewett?

And where’s Waldo, anyway?

Is Slosh anywhere near Scotch Creek, or is it closer to Stout?

Speaking of Stout, what are the residents of Sturdy like?

I hear the folks are real friendly at Chum Creek. Ittatsoo?

Is Sunrise Valley in the east?

Is Sunset Prairie in the west?

Do the folks in Katz get along with the folks in Dog Creek?

Indeed, it pays to be a discriminating tourist. Doing a little bit of research before you head out on the road can save you a lot of hassle in the long run.

Some places in B.C. have inviting names, while others worry me a bit.

I don’t quite know what to make of Windy Mouth.

I want to relax this summer, so I think I’ll pass on Quick because it sounds a little too fast-paced for me.

Oasis sounds like a nice place to visit, but I don’t want to go to Anaconda.

Or Snake, for that matter.

Speyum sounds like something you spit into a bowl when you’re at the dentist.

And Grindrod? Too much friction for me, thanks all the same. Hydraulic doesn’t sound too pleasant, either.

While some places have nice names, like Rainbow, others have names that suggest they best be avoided.

Like Gossip Island, for example. I hear they really like to Yahk there.

Someone told me they spin a good yarn in Bull River, but they’re a little too cocky in Cheekye.

You must tread lightly on Egg Island, or you might get beaten up.

Same goes for when you’re visiting Beaton.

And you’ll wear long-sleeve shirts when visiting Pinchi, if you know what’s good for you.

Men going through a nasty divorce might want to drive right by Hagwilget.

It’s on the way to Ta Ta Creek.

Oh well, there’s always Hope. And Onward.

Come to think of it, after poking fun at all these B.C. places, maybe I’ll have to escape to Tom Island.

That is, if they’ll have me there.

They might just tell me to go jump into Tomslake instead.

 

So let it be done.

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