It is easy to understand the urge to do a bit of shoplifting. It is Christmas time. The prices are so high and the stores have an abundance of good stuff.
If you get caught, you need a line of defence. You could always say that you merely pocketed the ring. It sounds better than stealing. Unfortunately the plan has been tried before and it didn’t work.
I suggest you take your method of defence from the minister of defence. He should know how it works. You can take a joy ride on a helicopter at taxpayers’ expense and get out of it by claiming it is not a big deal. Some Liberals have done things that are much worse.
Probably, the best way to deal with your problem would be to find a crooked Liberal. That should be easy. Surely he did more stealing than you did. It works every time.