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B.C. cats hold Vitamix blender box hostage during weeks-long saga

Will Jessica and Nikii ever get their blender?
Max the cat taking over a B.C. couple’s Vitamix. (Jessica Gerson-Neeves/Facebook)

When you select a blender, you’re probably worried about how well, it, well, blends. Does it chop up ice? Spinach? Frozen bananas?

The Vitamix, at a cost of around $400, undoubtedly does all three. Unfortunately for one B.C. couple, it also functions as a cat attractant.

In a post to the company’s Facebook page, Jessica Gerson-Neeves laid out the issue. Jessica and her wife, Nikii, had long coveted the Vitamix to help the former get enough fibre and because the latter just loved smoothies.

On Black Friday, the couple found a great deal and ordered the device. But while it arrived safely, things took a turn for the worse shortly after in what Jessica describes as their first mistake.

“We are the devoted servants of a trio of cats who go by the names of Max; George, Destroyer of Worlds; and Lando Calrissian. Mere seconds after setting down the Vitamix box, in the moments before we would’ve opened it and happily put our exciting new blender to use, Max (also known as the sentient soccer ball) spotted the box and, assuming it was for him, hopped right up on top,” Jessica wrote.

“And that was the beginning of the end.”

Since then, Jessica said, the Vitamix box has been “occupied” by at least one and sometimes two cats at a time.

“With three cats and only two humans in the household, the humans are outnumbered and (being giant suckers), both frightened of and unwilling to forcibly relocate the offending cats,” Jessica stated.

She first posted the saga to a Facebook group and after more than a million people showed interest, faithfully documented the sage on the cats’ own social media page.

One of the most recent posts involves a video showing a “shift change,” where the trio of cats ensure that the Vitamix box is never left unattended.

(Content warning: Post may include profanity.)

But while a new Vitamix may solve Jessica and Nikii’s problems, that’s not what the couple want.

“No, we’re writing with a stranger but far less expensive request. Is there—I cannot believe I am honestly asking this—any possibility at all that y’all would be willing to send us three (the number is very important, as there are three cats and we need there to be one extra so we can hopefully get the actual blender out of the box) empty Vitamix boxes?” Jessica asked. “Other cardboard boxes seem to lack the appeal of the Vitamix box, and since, much like your wonderful blenders, this stand-off seems to be Built To Last, we’re afraid that this may be our only way out of the situation in which we find ourselves.”

And on Jan. 4, the couple’s plea was answered as Vitamix sent over three empty boxes. The first of the three boxes arrived just three days later but alas, as Jessica described on Facebook, the cats were not fooled.

Stay tuned for the next update in the cat and Vitamix chronicles – and whether or not Jessica and Nikii will ever get their smoothies.


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